joke about ths

i asked the doctor, could i have durian
he smiled and said yes....

weee...i will buy durian and eat haha...

dad is bugging me now ...i should go...

hope when i wake up , my crown is still there

incase of anything mite happens, i wanna tell to those who cares bout me

' i love you all, really lucky to be here and felling all your love' ' for the first time, i feel im worth staying and kicking'

cont- the day came crashing part IIII

Wednesday - Dued to the doctor's sectrary said i wll confirm 'masuk' today...To me, ayai maybe do more detail scan or check up ler....

i woke early as 7...this been happening since we fought and argued...but i felt no tiredness...

hey..i managed to clean my room...now is liveable..and when mum comes home ,..hehe she sure wouldnt complaint lar...through cleaning i saw a petal which kept well under all my coins, the petal which sophia gave me 1999 as a token of friendship, i still have it ...i kept...and i came across 'my 3 princess picture'

Best asset that i owned ..heeh my dearest friend, which stood by me ...

to cut short....

at nite- phone conversation with cousin sis, said that i should imform the 1 i love- i did, hoping he will comes to his senses now ...after a 15 min talk, all went wrong, my heart felt a million jab.

he pulls of by saying ' all ypur friend, very good 1' 'i promised, and i will fulfill what i promised' 'i will come tomorrow to see u'

sign...my aunt waving her hand indicated that i should hung up....

---at the moment-- speechless

cont- The day came crashing part III

Tuesday morning - jerryca fetched me to attend a MRI Scan, doctor has scheduled for me. When i told her what happened...i can sense from her coolness, I'm having minor scratches which din occur to her as major...

The MRI Scan is abit scary...ok ok ...it was really scary to me...not knowing what Will happens throughout process..my face is cover with a huge plastic...there's mirror slanted 45 degree on top of my eye view ...is not big just serve nicely as make up mirror make up..and through that mirror..basically i cant even see my own head but just plastic..and they put a headphone on me, saying that it will block the 'construction sound' ....now ..wait wait...'construction sound' ....that's annoying..and quickly i asked..how long will this scan last?

oohh 20 min lar ....

i was thinking - phew...Lucky not an hour or so....

when the machine pulled me in ...my mind went wild...i think i drop a tear...but not really sure as i cant feel it nor i can move to touch my face....its difficult to flip from negative to positive thinking on and on ...it seem as endless battle...oh..the 'construction sound' came....

hey hey ..not bad wat...i can cope with this sound....another 2 different sound came...Gosh...is annoying but better than i guessed.....seem forever...suddenly i heard through my headphone "miss siew, we will give injection to u NOW'..

wat ..wat...i din know there is injection...the machine roled me out and a nurse came in..in a fizz, the nurse was bluntly describing from picking up the needle till injecting on me and later pumping in the liquid and taking off the needle...i hope she did not explain to me so detail...i asked ..what is this for ...'for clearer view..there's cloudy in your brain ...sign

jerryca cried when m.k called me to ask how is the situation which i explained clearly ...i think which got into her (jerry) somehow...i saw her face changed from laughing happily till stoned then tears came crashing down...

ivan came and collected my freelance - asked is it cuz i usually talk much, so this happens to me ....-sign- -speechless-

late at nite - same sms / msn ' i need to use the camera on Saturday'

what the heck....I'm ere having a crisis and all he care was a darn camera....sign

Cont - the day came crashing part III

Monday came after... 1 night of sleepless nite, me & Lee went to see specialist and through the doctor tone & manner, i couldnt afford to delay anymore ...

sign....

late midnite..i got text from the 1 i love the most, asking me briefly what did the doctor said...i replied him but he doesnt able to understand what i typed...and he rang me up ..i texted him in mandarin, he did not calls me again ...i knew by now ...he is still using his temper as a guidance...sign..

late midnite ...cant sleep ...when i shut my eye, my imagination runs amok. Although im in my room lying, but my mind travel beyond where i stay ...till land before time ..haaha

Cont - the day came crashing part II

where did i stop at ..ohh..anyway to but short ...he dumped me without concerning my illness or perhaps he thought i came with this joke to get his attention or sympathy. He demanded me to immediately collect all my belongings from his house, which i did but only a small portion as i & Heman couldn't carried much and her mum is rushing off...

Late midnight ...he text me to return camera which he bought for me and asked to return all the money he spent on my willingly thro good times but demanded i return back....sign

alone in a day ...i have to cope with 2 bad news...the earlier was scary but I'm calm as i heard he said he wanted to break up...which he said more than 5 times to me in a week...later pretender as nothing has happened. This is a wreck to me , disappointment hit me ..i am SO disappointed by thinking becuz he is immature which is why he is behaving such way...later after clear thought, this has nothing to do with immature..any normal human being after hearing this kinda news, will automatically offer an hand, not to mention the 1 dear to you...

The day came crashing

i had x-ray report taken on Saturday with not knowing what is the outcome and how drastic it could turn out.

Lee was beside me all the time, through bad times, he was there..if he did not take initiative drive me to hospital and kicked me out,i think i would know my fate now...it took about 20 minutes for staffs to find my lost long report, i took a scan way dated back 23rd sept 2006, not knowing anything that i was discharged by doctor lamented briefly its a migraine.

If you been wondering is Lee my bf, no he is not...my bf argued with me. he said rudely he need 3 days to think about what he really wants ...so today is 2nd day. We have not met each other for about 2 weeks or talk through phone for long...oo..and he bought me a camera before we had argument. he tells me, he hope i be obeying to him as he has bought me a camera..obviously i was upset with his crude words and disappointed with trading...i felt like a young naive girl or a pet...which you do to them usually, or occasionally ..give them a sweet and shut them up or demanded them to sit quietly or obey the master.

Back to report...The General Doctor wanted to see me..told me i had fluid and growth (which i never heard of) and asked me do i know what is growth. I told him i only know what is a Tumour...he sneer and looked at me, how did i came up with tumour and anyone told me about it...i replied i don't..is just a wild guess..he seem disappointed that no ones in the hospital care enough to call me and tell me about my report or my illness when i was admitted and being discharge without seeing my report..it took me 7 months later to realised all these while i have a growth in my brain ....

he asked me not to wait any longer and made a appointment immediately with brain specialist on Monday.....

i think i have not come to the stage of accepting i have such a huge illness tagging for 7 months...wonder about any symptoms ....yes i had. Thinking that is cuz by upset stomach/ indigestion.

in the evening , Mr. bf finally calls...not knowing what he wants ..he did not tells me anything about his 3 day deep thought processing...i thought he or perhaps of years we been together , he has the right to know...i told him. i told him i needed to see a brain specialist on Monday he went silent..he did not offer to be with me. all his concern was who was with me to get the report. I told him Lee...through his tone and manner i knew he is not happy ...