The day came crashing

i had x-ray report taken on Saturday with not knowing what is the outcome and how drastic it could turn out.

Lee was beside me all the time, through bad times, he was there..if he did not take initiative drive me to hospital and kicked me out,i think i would know my fate now...it took about 20 minutes for staffs to find my lost long report, i took a scan way dated back 23rd sept 2006, not knowing anything that i was discharged by doctor lamented briefly its a migraine.

If you been wondering is Lee my bf, no he is not...my bf argued with me. he said rudely he need 3 days to think about what he really wants ...so today is 2nd day. We have not met each other for about 2 weeks or talk through phone for long...oo..and he bought me a camera before we had argument. he tells me, he hope i be obeying to him as he has bought me a camera..obviously i was upset with his crude words and disappointed with trading...i felt like a young naive girl or a pet...which you do to them usually, or occasionally ..give them a sweet and shut them up or demanded them to sit quietly or obey the master.

Back to report...The General Doctor wanted to see me..told me i had fluid and growth (which i never heard of) and asked me do i know what is growth. I told him i only know what is a Tumour...he sneer and looked at me, how did i came up with tumour and anyone told me about it...i replied i don't..is just a wild guess..he seem disappointed that no ones in the hospital care enough to call me and tell me about my report or my illness when i was admitted and being discharge without seeing my report..it took me 7 months later to realised all these while i have a growth in my brain ....

he asked me not to wait any longer and made a appointment immediately with brain specialist on Monday.....

i think i have not come to the stage of accepting i have such a huge illness tagging for 7 months...wonder about any symptoms ....yes i had. Thinking that is cuz by upset stomach/ indigestion.

in the evening , Mr. bf finally calls...not knowing what he wants ..he did not tells me anything about his 3 day deep thought processing...i thought he or perhaps of years we been together , he has the right to know...i told him. i told him i needed to see a brain specialist on Monday he went silent..he did not offer to be with me. all his concern was who was with me to get the report. I told him Lee...through his tone and manner i knew he is not happy ...