song edged your life

it started with...
[sky too!:]Last night,I couldn't even get an answer.Tried to call,but my pride wouldn't let me dial.And I'm sitting here,with this blank expression.And the way I feel,I wanna curl up like a child.
I know you can hear me, I know you can feel me, I can't live without you, God please make me better I wish I wasn't the way I am...(so you won't puke blood)
[sky:]If I told you once, I told you twice,(probably told you a zillion times)you can see it in my eyes.I'm all cried out,with nothing to say.You're everything I wanted to be.If you could only see,your heart belongs to me(doubly..but who cares, i don't). I'm yearning for your touch.Come and set me free,forever yours I'll be,baby won't you come and take this pain awayyyyy.
[sky:]I need you,and you need me(do ya..).This is so plain to see,and I will never let you go, I'm yearning for your touch.Come and set me free,forever yours I'll be,baby won't you come and take this pain awayyyyy.
sky again!:]Tell me the words to say,to make you come back,and why work me like that!And if it matters I'll rather stay home,with you I'm never alone.

Why don't you pick the phone,when i dialed up ya number,and tried call ya a baby..just to check on ya days

continue with...
Nobody wanna see us together But it don't matter no Cause I got you(you said, you ll cathc me when i fall) babe,Nobody wanna see us together,But it don't matter no,Cause I got you babe,Cause we gon' fight (hell lots...)Oh yes we gon' fight Believe we gon' fight We gon' fight Fight for our right to love ,Nobody wanna see us together But it don't matter no Cause I got you
Nobody wanna see us together Nobody thought we'd last forever(i don't feel so..haha)I feel I'm hopin' and prayin' Things between us gon' get better...

it turned ...
now let's get down tonight,Baby I'm hot just like an oven,I need some lovin' And baby, I can't hold it much longer,It's getting stronger and stronger And when I get that feeling I want Sexual Healing me feel so fine Helps to relieve my mind Sexual Healing baby, is good for me Sexual Healing is something that's good for me Whenever blue tear drops are falling And my emotional stability is leaving me There is something I can do I can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me The love you give to me will free me If you don't know the things you're dealing I can tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing ...

follow by own imagination tour to...
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older Then we wouldn't have to wait so long And wouldn't it be nice to live together In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up In the morning when the day is new And after having spent the day together Hold each other close the whole night through
The happy times together we've been spending I wish that every kiss was never ending Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true ...

but i havn't choose a finale song...what would it be?

now- where ever i meeting him, i took extra 10 mins to look fine

- how feeling evolved...his the only guy / male who's cares for me because he treats me like a friend but not as a target he wants to hitch on...which is why i will devote my attention to him all the time.

-suddenly he's from my notsostranger-but-stillstranger list, upgraded to closefriend within a month and got promoted to platonicfriend within the next 2 weeks, and this seem like a escolator than a ladder, from platonic to not so platonicbut-stillplatonic. Now..where are we, i often wonder...wonders

but does he cares? do i care? na...should stay above the water level for i have dived for 2 bloody years in search for what i called 'happiness' but soon to realized ...it is the art of mixing up tight and low tight will bring intoxicated blunder of joy hahaha

things drift...an blink, is shortee's bithday!
he said - will celebrate with me, will suprise me~
i waited for a sign...
still waitng (09112007)
on early wee hours 24102007, called, demanded for a answer ...
as usual, i never able to get a satisfying answer from Leo or Leo just cant give it?

i believe truly deeply, good things has to end somewhere, somehow, somewhat...but ended ugly is 1 of the ingredient??
i asked myself over and over, things shouldnt be ended this way
it should as if a fairy tale
with lovely sad ending but still lovely ..(sign)
but shit happens, yes...shit a whole lots shit
HAPPENS!
if is this, let it be...let it be

What wrong with this man, replying short and 1question1replypersms. Doesn't he has bills to pays?Maybe is not his fault, the steroid i took last month respond or took effectively now...haha a small cries from me before i head to my 1monthold toy-yoga class. Needed to feel healthy and sweaty all over after forever stage in a monotonous body state.

after my yoga class, din bother to change, already soak in sweaty and acidic sweat smell and even with make up of after bath won't change my skin texture to become luminous. i hate ..i hate my look. my eyes lid has this tiny flesh growing all over, and my skin texture became hoarse and yaiks feeling...thanks to the tumor and steroid and everything that deliberately hitting me at the the same time..thanks to the break ups too...

park my car ..and casually walk toward Starbucks- shit, he sited inside? i wanna puff leh...i needed to when i knew i will definitely talk about my past, my current, my present!!

it din bothers me, i don't look fine, it din bothers me, my hair is a mess...

but how things change...i start to pay more attention the way i look or present before i meet him.

i spend more time to dress up now -