now- where ever i meeting him, i took extra 10 mins to look fine

- how feeling evolved...his the only guy / male who's cares for me because he treats me like a friend but not as a target he wants to hitch on...which is why i will devote my attention to him all the time.

-suddenly he's from my notsostranger-but-stillstranger list, upgraded to closefriend within a month and got promoted to platonicfriend within the next 2 weeks, and this seem like a escolator than a ladder, from platonic to not so platonicbut-stillplatonic. Now..where are we, i often wonder...wonders

but does he cares? do i care? na...should stay above the water level for i have dived for 2 bloody years in search for what i called 'happiness' but soon to realized ...it is the art of mixing up tight and low tight will bring intoxicated blunder of joy hahaha

things drift...an blink, is shortee's bithday!
he said - will celebrate with me, will suprise me~
i waited for a sign...
still waitng (09112007)
on early wee hours 24102007, called, demanded for a answer ...
as usual, i never able to get a satisfying answer from Leo or Leo just cant give it?

i believe truly deeply, good things has to end somewhere, somehow, somewhat...but ended ugly is 1 of the ingredient??
i asked myself over and over, things shouldnt be ended this way
it should as if a fairy tale
with lovely sad ending but still lovely ..(sign)
but shit happens, yes...shit a whole lots shit
HAPPENS!
if is this, let it be...let it be