papa is getting old

Gradually i realized it but ignore as i might
wrinkles and lines growing by day at his face
the tone of his skin changing
the dark burnt mark on his skin growing as many old folks getting
bald never seem a question to SIEW family, but he's getting it slowly
my mum said is hormone unbalance
i couldn't continue typing as my heart just seem dashed by few drop of lemon juice
i never close with my dad...
i never really talk to him...
i never really truly understand him...
i never once tolerate with him...
i never really liked him...
and it got me terrified thinking of losing him, my dad, one day.

so much wanting to hold his hand walking down the street
so much wanting to hug him every time i leave
so much wanting to talk him about everything

but

where and when to start?

perhaps 1 day i be mature enough...that day will be near.