decision- decision

no one really talks after the doctor appointment
my dad too shock at the price of the laser
and yes..is confirm i be permanent deaf on the right ear, there wouldn't be any treatment for it. There's no explanation about my voice box..my voice been horse since then..barely talk with clear voice...the doctor said it could due to the tumor pressing against the nervous system...once again ...wouldnt know is this permanent or short term...any how...this is a bad news to me ..which i have to keep cool all the time because i cant raise my voice..if i wanted to...GOSH GODARMIT~~ i hate it

keeping low with my mum is already tough..thinking tat im have this voice box with me whole life...GOSH...i cant shout,scream or even speak 2 pitch higher ..DARN

the doctor suggested 2 option, to go for the surgery/ operation again to shrink the size of the tumor follow by laser or i can go straight for the laser which will cost alot ...well alot meaning a waja on my head? 70K even 70K i needed at least 10 session of laser everyday ....which is a hell to me ..talk about routine and chores...any either 1 there will be side effect ...ah!! already have it ....what could i say then ...OK bring it on~~

the cheapest way is STD another older version of laser but i will have to go through 25-30 times!! instead on 10!! the cost is differed too...about 30+k ....the doctor asked for my opinion..well to be honest ...am i in the right position to give and answer because my superior and inferior parent never / did not ask me ! i dun think i have the right to tell although 'hey it's me!'

...sign....speechless